Time

Time: Leaves, slipping from one point in time to another.

Hello.

Today's discovery: I am being affected by a lack of reference points for time because my space is restricted. Time is seen as a measurement of distance in space and this is apparently skewing a sense of time in me.

First, my sense of space and my movements through it are restricted, and this is restricting my sense of time: COVID “stay home” policy. One of my sisters attributes this to cabin fever. I attribute it to walking and walking and walking and not going anywhere. Also, my sense of what day it is, or even what time of day it is (given the persistent cloudiness this week) is null and void. The rhythm of here and there, of comings and goings in a day, are no where to be found.

This loss of points of reference means that I'm not sure when to eat or when to sleep or when to begin or end my day. My body doesn't quite know when to be tired, or when to not be tired, or when to be awake.

Consequently, appointments slip away. Today, I had a lunch appointment to play Scrabble (online) with one of my daughters, and I slipped right passed it while on the phone with one of my sisters because I had again lost track of time and because I had no hunger reminders for lunch. I walked in circles around the house and use my phone to count steps. It was 510 steps while I was on the phone with my sister.

This loss of time reference points is a type of silence, silence in my body and mind. Silence in my ability to see and hear. It's a silence beyond quiet.

I’m remembering “The Sound of Silence” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMzWvMc6R98&list=PLLtQvkTqKXTgkqgSeJsmXdK_JM-jID_SH).

So, what should I try next? Phone alarms may help, if I remember to set them.

I need to create some new discipline, some new triggers, for daily events, some new rhythm for mundane things, things which were usually part of the unspoken rhythm of yesterday. But the usual triggers of desire or need are skewed now. Now an empty coffee pot is all that signals the end of morning. The dog pestering me to go for a walk, but she doesn't want to go outside. Was that just this morning?

Cooped up. That’s what I’m feeling.

I had not realized how much I have been dependent on simply leaving the house at will. So simple—that easy expansion of my sense of space in life.

Yes, there is much left to learn about physics of time and being sequestered. Much room is needed.