Gremlins

Gremlins: hidden among the foliage, these sprites run amok.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon the trail of a gremlin, a sprite running amok, amid the foliage of a secret field somewhere in the wilds of Yucaipa. It all happened like this.

Last week I ordered a birthday gift for my grandson who has recently bought a home in Yucaipa. Amazon, a dear and trusted friend these days, seller and deliverer of all things wonderful and grand, offered this present for my purchase and promised to deliver it on my grandson’s birthday. Alas—amid their amazing track record of delivering presents near and far for me, and delivering daily necessities to my home such as dog food, antihistamines, screen doors, books, DVDs, hundreds of fabulous goodies—this one was not correctly delivered as promised. The person delivering it sent me a text saying the package was placed in the mail room, but also sent a picture revealing the package, cast adrift in a field of grass. Perfect gremlin fodder.

My grandson searched the neighborhood to no avail. The package was not to be found. I believe the problem had to have been a gremlin, often thought of as an imaginary sprite, a mischievous hooligan responsible for problems that have no other explanation, usually hidden by unkempt foliage in which it disguises itself. (See the snapshot of one above.)

Alas, the problems did not stop there. I called Amazon Customer Service and spoke with a bright and cheery young customer service representative who explained that I needed to call back tomorrow or call the delivery service, that Amazon’s policy is to wait 48 hours before processing replacement orders. This sounded reasonable. And so I did. At least I attempted to locate a number for the delivery service—again to no avail. I can imagine the gremlin absconding with that, too. I called back this morning hoping to speak that that sweet young service representative, only to find a phone message stating that Amazon could not take my call at all. They were busy servicing “the elderly, who are most vulnerable,” because of COVID19 and they hoped I could solve my problem with their online service. Yet another gremlin’s glitch at play.

With some diligence and no small effort, I located Amazon’s snail-mail street address, managed to get my printer hooked up and printing, and wrote a note to send along with the order invoice, and asked for a refund, all because Amazon’s delightful online service just isn’t working this morning. Lots of elderly folks being helped, I’m sure.

Unavoidably, I am one such person. COVID19 is changing lives in so many unexpected ways. Mine aren’t worth complaining about when so many others are suffering real loss. I only grouse at gremlins.

I posted the letter with one of those things called stamps, and waited for the postal carrier, hoping gremlins avoid postal workers and don’t like snails.